Chapter 3 – June 16th 2016
Well my blood test has been done ready for the 29th. I was more apprehensive about this one because I knew the results could be life defining in the near future.
My groin and nodes have ached for days and I’m so tired, sometimes waking more fatigued than when I went to bed – scarily I am sleeping more now than I ever have, considering
I have been on sleepers for years – a persistent insomniac. A work associate mentioned this week “You’ve got something but you’re not ill”. I didn’t know what to think of that, maybe a tinge of hurt, a fraud, after all she can’t feel what I do, and that doesn’t anyway mean I feel sorry for myself in any shape or form.
My appointment is approaching, and I’m praying and It will remain the same as I have so much to see and do yet. I’ve barely scratched the surface.
June 29th 2016, Well, today’s the day for my first 3 month check up. My inner body is shaking, and I feel uneasy.
June 30th 2016 – The first day of the next 16 weeks. Still watch and wait. Good Bloodcount, good Calcium level, liver and kidney function Good. Now I have to enjoy my life again. It feels like snippets of a few months at a time. I suppose I will get used to it eventually, but it pops into my head at least twice a day, which sucks.
August 12th 2016 – Last three days, non stop groin ache, so annoying. Called my GP today, although I know it won’t solve anything and he will spout out the usual “You’re looking really well, Rebecca, really well.” He ordered blood tests.
October 8th 2016 – Blood tests came back clear. Can’t see I have a disease here. The last couple of weeks, but this week in particular, have been difficult, both mentally as well as physically. The whole menopause/lymphoma tires me out – going to bed earlier and earlier. It hadn’t helped that one evening I had been browsing through Facebook and up flagged a “Lymphoma Matters article on “What Type are you?” – Dangerous territory, but I plunged in anyway. Flicking through a few, scanning ones that caught my eye – mostly men with MCL. I stopped in my tracks. A family man, MCL since 2012, two young girls, all chemos tried and a stem cell transplant, and only has weeks to live. It stuck in my mind. It was the first really negative thing I’ve read.